I love the musical WICKED even though I have never seen it. I know the music and words all by heart, and I have pretty much seen the entire show on YouTube (in pieces, but I'm not complaining). It is a sad story. It is funny, but it is sad. Kind of how I feel a lot lately. Elphaba is so very misunderstood. I never really knew what it felt like to be so misunderstood... but then I never knew I was misunderstood until now.
I've heard it said that people come in to our lives for a reason, bringing something we must learn. And we are led to those who help us most to grow if we let them... and we help them in return. Well, I don't know if I believe that's true, but I know I'm who I am today because I knew you. Like a comet pulled from orbit as it passes a sun. Like a stream that meets a boulder halfway through the wood. Who can say if I've been changed for the better? But because I knew you I have been changed for good!
It well may be that we will never meet again in this lifetime. So, let me say before we part so much of me is made of what I learned from you. You'll be with me like a hand print on my heart. And now whatever way our stories end, I know you have re-written mine by being my friend. Like a ship blown from its mooring by a wind off the sea. Like a seed dropped by a sky bird in a distant wood. Who can say if I've been changed for the better? But, because I knew you, I have been changed for good.
And just to clear the air, I ask forgiveness for the things I've done you blame me for. But then, I guess we know there's blame to share. And none of it seems to matter anymore. Who can say if I've been changed for the better? I do believe I have been changed for the better. And, because I knew you, I have been changed for good.
Why does this song make so much sense to me? It seems to say exactly how I feel on so many levels. The obvious level is that I have a best friend who has changed my life for good... definitely for good.
The next level though seems to be the sadness of being misunderstood, the feeling of being sorry for actions that have unwittingly caused harm or hurt to others. The apology and acceptance that happens within a few measures in the song are beautiful! The understanding that comes in so short a time is so powerful and so healing. To watch it and hear it is very moving.
What is the 3rd level? I think it is just the level that music can take me emotionally. This song makes sense to me because it speaks to my heart... without words. I'm not usually a very sentimental/emotional person on the outside, but inside I feel things very deeply. This song makes me feel on the outside as well.
Whatever the level of loving this song... it has changed me for good! :)
Sunday, July 8, 2007
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
Should I, or shouldn't I???
I'm a little chicken to post anything on my blog since my family is opposed to my writing anything of value on here. Oh well, since I am opposed to my family having an opinion of value... I guess I will post anyway! :) lol
I think family reunions are wonderful. I always get excited to make plans for them, and I go to them with all my hopes and dreams on the forefront of my mind. I've been accused of having an ideal for my family that is too high. I guess my ideal causes my siblings and my parents angst. Perhaps the ideal that I have is so wonderful and exciting that even the thought of changing from the way things are right now and moving to that "Celestial family" produces an overload of euphoric feelings for them which they are just not able to deal with (although I doubt it).
I actually think that my ideal produces weight. Not physical weight - although that is a possibility. I think it produces emotional weight called... "Obligation." (Not "oblation" - that is "an offering." But quite frankly, that too would produce discord in my family if it were included in my ideal! lol) No, I am referring to the uncomfortable motivating force that prods brothers and sisters to help one another when one of them is moving in to a new home. The force that goads siblings in to action (ie, going in to a church on a Saturday) when one of them is baptizing a child. The knowledge that exists deep within that causes people to check on friends and family even when it is not convenient.
That weight of obligation must be pretty darn heavy. I know I am emotionally exhausted because of it, since I have been talking about it so much lately. And I really AM exhausted - a place I don't get to very often.
:(
I think family reunions are wonderful. I always get excited to make plans for them, and I go to them with all my hopes and dreams on the forefront of my mind. I've been accused of having an ideal for my family that is too high. I guess my ideal causes my siblings and my parents angst. Perhaps the ideal that I have is so wonderful and exciting that even the thought of changing from the way things are right now and moving to that "Celestial family" produces an overload of euphoric feelings for them which they are just not able to deal with (although I doubt it).
I actually think that my ideal produces weight. Not physical weight - although that is a possibility. I think it produces emotional weight called... "Obligation." (Not "oblation" - that is "an offering." But quite frankly, that too would produce discord in my family if it were included in my ideal! lol) No, I am referring to the uncomfortable motivating force that prods brothers and sisters to help one another when one of them is moving in to a new home. The force that goads siblings in to action (ie, going in to a church on a Saturday) when one of them is baptizing a child. The knowledge that exists deep within that causes people to check on friends and family even when it is not convenient.
That weight of obligation must be pretty darn heavy. I know I am emotionally exhausted because of it, since I have been talking about it so much lately. And I really AM exhausted - a place I don't get to very often.
:(
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