I have found that my mom and I have something in common. We like to watch Tide. There is a big difference though - I like to watch the price of the Tide that washes clothes and leaves them with a nice clean scent. She however, likes the kind that washes up and back on the beach each day, and tends to leave little particles of dead fish or sea life that stink when the sun comes out and evaporates the water.
My mom is (and I have only discovered this in the last 4 days) a beach FREAK!! She is obsessed with watching and getting info on tides - high tides, low tides, slack tides, etc. She knows way too much about "seaglass", and has all sorts of off-the-cuff information about driftwood and agates. The knowledge comes out in spurts at odd times - like when we are walking along the beach looking for shells, and she just happens to mention that the sun sets 30 seconds later everyday, while the moon's difference each day is 24 minutes - and that is what effects tides. OK then... ""Do you know the price of Hillshire Farms lunch meat when using a Facebook Coupon?" I ask. Or in keeping with the topic, "can you tell me perhaps where Tide WITH bleach is on sale this week, and where I can go to get my $.75 coupon doubled?"
Here is a favorite of mine: We are sitting quietly in the front room of the beach house early in the morning, peacefully looking out the picture windows, when she pipes up with "This area is an earthquake zone, which makes it ripe for a Tsunami." I chuckle as I realize I just experienced the likes of a Tsunami in my own little world of Freebieland. I'll aways remember the great Couponami of 2008 - aka Facebook Fiasco.
Friday, August 22, 2008
Friday, August 8, 2008
Making connections, or NOT!
Ok, I'm one of those people who used to listen to songs when I was younger and could sing along with all the words, but had no idea what the song was about. Know what I mean? The last few times I have heard some of those songs from my teenage years, I have finally realized what naughty lyrics were in there! Some of the songs from "Grease" for instance.
Anyway, I got a good deal on milk and the new Honey Bunches of Oats cereal the other day. So today I was sitting here eating my "good deal" for breakfast and thinking how nice it was to not have any flakes of cereal in my bowl, when it occurred to me that it is called "JUST BUNCHES" for a reason!
La La La... or is it Duh Duh Duh?!
Anyway, I got a good deal on milk and the new Honey Bunches of Oats cereal the other day. So today I was sitting here eating my "good deal" for breakfast and thinking how nice it was to not have any flakes of cereal in my bowl, when it occurred to me that it is called "JUST BUNCHES" for a reason!
La La La... or is it Duh Duh Duh?!
Saturday, August 2, 2008
The Coupon Addiction
I wanted to SHOOT myself last night. I had planned for about 5 hours yesterday (ya, it takes me that long cuz I am coupon-disabled) exactly what, where, and how to get some great deals at Rite Aid. I had those P&G coupons that expired on the 31st of July, so I wanted to use them.
After a late dinner at my parents' home, I hung around the kitchen and chatted with my mom for a little while, then at 8:50pm after the kids were settled, I left for my BIG trip. I peacefully (read: no kids in van) drove the 8 min it takes to get to "the corners" where Rite Aid is on one corner, and Walgreen's is the other. Convenient, to be sure! I pulled in to the Rite Aid parking lot with butterflies in my stomach at the thought of all the deals I was going to get, and was happily surprised to see that there were only two cars in the lot - "lucky me" I thought, "I'll have the whole place to myself!" It was then that I noticed the store lights were rather dim. A closer look at the big red sign on the door allowed me to see the hours of operation which included a closing time of 9:00pm. I looked at my digital clock - 9:00pm ARGH!!!
I gotta admit that the amount of time wasted getting everything together earlier in the day, and the amount of money wasted by being late (which made the now-expired coupons worthless), held no candle to the amount of self I wanted to get wasted for being so DUMB!
'Course since I'm a good non-drinkin', non-smokin', church goin' gal, my only vice in the "wasting" catagory was to head home and take an Ambien from my stash of pills - the one thing I can seem to keep in stock! (That would be a big
to my parents who spent time enough in India to get a year's supply for me for $40. Now THAT is a deal!! Didn't even have to use a coupon! 
)
While I may be shopping-challenged and seem to have a difficult time when it comes to figuring out what is a good deal and what is a great deal, by golly I DO know what time Rite Aid closes, and I'll never forget it!
...I'm off to take another Ambien... just for good measure!
After a late dinner at my parents' home, I hung around the kitchen and chatted with my mom for a little while, then at 8:50pm after the kids were settled, I left for my BIG trip. I peacefully (read: no kids in van) drove the 8 min it takes to get to "the corners" where Rite Aid is on one corner, and Walgreen's is the other. Convenient, to be sure! I pulled in to the Rite Aid parking lot with butterflies in my stomach at the thought of all the deals I was going to get, and was happily surprised to see that there were only two cars in the lot - "lucky me" I thought, "I'll have the whole place to myself!" It was then that I noticed the store lights were rather dim. A closer look at the big red sign on the door allowed me to see the hours of operation which included a closing time of 9:00pm. I looked at my digital clock - 9:00pm ARGH!!!
I gotta admit that the amount of time wasted getting everything together earlier in the day, and the amount of money wasted by being late (which made the now-expired coupons worthless), held no candle to the amount of self I wanted to get wasted for being so DUMB!
'Course since I'm a good non-drinkin', non-smokin', church goin' gal, my only vice in the "wasting" catagory was to head home and take an Ambien from my stash of pills - the one thing I can seem to keep in stock! (That would be a big
to my parents who spent time enough in India to get a year's supply for me for $40. Now THAT is a deal!! Didn't even have to use a coupon! )While I may be shopping-challenged and seem to have a difficult time when it comes to figuring out what is a good deal and what is a great deal, by golly I DO know what time Rite Aid closes, and I'll never forget it!
...I'm off to take another Ambien... just for good measure!
Sunday, March 30, 2008
I Feel Pretty...
You thought this was going to be about a musical, right? "I Feel Pretty" from West Side Story. Yep, I knew it. Well, I'm sorry to say that this is not about a musical - unless there is some musical about my life out there. No, this is about how dumb I feel after getting up in church today and RAMBLING on about stuff I was thinking about.
According to the unwritten rules of The Church, I was supposed to get up there and say the things that I was thinking/feeling that would make everyone feel good and spiritual. Well, I somehow missed reading those unwritten rules this morning before going to church, and well, I just kinda went round in circles about things that DIDN'T make everyone feel good and spiritual. In fact, I think they kinda made people feel guilty - which I did NOT want to do! (Maybe guilty is not the right word, but maybe I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me, so guilty is the next worst alternative that they could feel.)
What did I say? Well, I'm not exactly sure. See, there was a little girl in our ward who had a tumor on her brain that they just found last Monday. She ended up having surgery and all is well, so her parents got up and thanked everyone for their prayers & fasting & thoughts & food & etc. While thinking about that story, I started relating the physical problems she had to the spiritual problems that someone very close to me is having. (I won't mention names, because the person I am thinking of has a name that starts with a Z, and that is at the end of the alphabet... and it will take too long to... um... do something, blah, blah, blah!) Perhaps I took my Adderall too late this morning, or it could be that I am on some manic high at the moment, but whatever the reason, I just starting thinking too deeply or too widely and decided that I wished that there were a way for me to take my baby to the doctor and to get some surgery to remove the spiritual tumor that has been growing as of late. So... THAT is what I got up and said. Amid tears, mind you. I said that I wished someone could bring me dinner, or that I could send out an e-mail asking for help in his behalf, but that I didn't feel like I could. (Then I quickly said "please, don't bring me dinner!" - which was even dumber of me to say! lol) All in all, I suppose the thing that came across was that there are spiritual needs (not just mine) that are actually much worse in the long run than a brain tumor (which is NOT what I feel really - because a tumor in a child is pretty much HORRIBLE!), and we don't seem to give those problems nearly the same amount of attention or thought or action as a ward or as a group of friends.
I guess that is what came across, because I have already had three people talk to me about what I said. Two gave me hugs, and one called me to thank me for saying what I said. Please, not PITY! I hope it is not out of PITY! I don't want to take away attention from anyone! I just have a problem that I don't know how to handle. I want some help - and I don't know how to ask for it, and I don't know what to ask for. I don't know how to fix this problem.
Somehow I think I may have said things that will offend people - especially the parents of the little girl. Oh how I wish I would have said NOTHING.
According to the unwritten rules of The Church, I was supposed to get up there and say the things that I was thinking/feeling that would make everyone feel good and spiritual. Well, I somehow missed reading those unwritten rules this morning before going to church, and well, I just kinda went round in circles about things that DIDN'T make everyone feel good and spiritual. In fact, I think they kinda made people feel guilty - which I did NOT want to do! (Maybe guilty is not the right word, but maybe I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me, so guilty is the next worst alternative that they could feel.)
What did I say? Well, I'm not exactly sure. See, there was a little girl in our ward who had a tumor on her brain that they just found last Monday. She ended up having surgery and all is well, so her parents got up and thanked everyone for their prayers & fasting & thoughts & food & etc. While thinking about that story, I started relating the physical problems she had to the spiritual problems that someone very close to me is having. (I won't mention names, because the person I am thinking of has a name that starts with a Z, and that is at the end of the alphabet... and it will take too long to... um... do something, blah, blah, blah!) Perhaps I took my Adderall too late this morning, or it could be that I am on some manic high at the moment, but whatever the reason, I just starting thinking too deeply or too widely and decided that I wished that there were a way for me to take my baby to the doctor and to get some surgery to remove the spiritual tumor that has been growing as of late. So... THAT is what I got up and said. Amid tears, mind you. I said that I wished someone could bring me dinner, or that I could send out an e-mail asking for help in his behalf, but that I didn't feel like I could. (Then I quickly said "please, don't bring me dinner!" - which was even dumber of me to say! lol) All in all, I suppose the thing that came across was that there are spiritual needs (not just mine) that are actually much worse in the long run than a brain tumor (which is NOT what I feel really - because a tumor in a child is pretty much HORRIBLE!), and we don't seem to give those problems nearly the same amount of attention or thought or action as a ward or as a group of friends.
I guess that is what came across, because I have already had three people talk to me about what I said. Two gave me hugs, and one called me to thank me for saying what I said. Please, not PITY! I hope it is not out of PITY! I don't want to take away attention from anyone! I just have a problem that I don't know how to handle. I want some help - and I don't know how to ask for it, and I don't know what to ask for. I don't know how to fix this problem.
Somehow I think I may have said things that will offend people - especially the parents of the little girl. Oh how I wish I would have said NOTHING.
Saturday, March 29, 2008
My cup runneth over... or leaketh
Ok, so one of my BFFs (yes, I have more than one, but don't tell THEM!) sent this little cutsie story to me about hot chocolate and the cup, blah blah blah. I really don't like those things cluttering my inbox, but I actually liked this one! So, here it is (a little chopped up to make it shorter) for all (me) to read:
A group of graduates decided to go visit their old university professor. The conversation soon turned to complaints about stress in their work and lives. The professor went into his kitchen and returned with a large pot of hot chocolate and an assortment of cups - porcelain, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite - telling his former students to help themselves to the hot chocolate.
When they all had a cup of hot chocolate in hand, the professor said, "Notice that all the nice looking, expensive cups were taken, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress. The cup that you're drinking from adds nothing to the quality of the hot chocolate. In most cases it is just more expensive and in some cases even hides what we drink. What all of you really wanted was hot chocolate, not the cup; but you went for the best cups... and then you began eyeing each other's cups.
Here is the lesson: Life is the hot chocolate; your job, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain life. The cup you have does not define, nor change the quality of life you have.
See, I want to have a nicer cup - one with four big wheels, and a Toyota or Lexus insignia on the back, but the reality is that I don't have the ability to buy anything nicer than a plastic cup from IKEA, or a paper cup from Walmart. The important thing to remember is that any cup (as long as it is clean) is ok for me to use to savor my hot choco. Let's see if I can take this further... um, ya, I can savor my hot cho-co-lah-tay in a paper cup on the beach if I want to, right? I can take my cup anywhere! I mean, imagine the small paper cup with the hot stuff in it (wax melting on the outside) cruising on a Disney cruise ship out in the Caribbean. Ya ya, that's it!
Wait... I think I have gone overboard (no pun intended). I guess the whole idea of this story is that we are supposed to look INSIDE of the cup, right? We all have the same good stuff on the inside, we just "get" to enjoy it from different holders. Ok, so I need to enjoy it no matter what the cup looks like. But, I can still want to take the cup somewhere fun, right?
Is sarcasm always negative? Is negative always bad? Isn't it funny sometimes?
Eeek, now the "cup half full" scenario comes to mind, which means that the hot chocolate story can be taken even further. BUT... I am going to stop. I have to continue to figure out how to use a database (see previous post).
A group of graduates decided to go visit their old university professor. The conversation soon turned to complaints about stress in their work and lives. The professor went into his kitchen and returned with a large pot of hot chocolate and an assortment of cups - porcelain, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite - telling his former students to help themselves to the hot chocolate.
When they all had a cup of hot chocolate in hand, the professor said, "Notice that all the nice looking, expensive cups were taken, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress. The cup that you're drinking from adds nothing to the quality of the hot chocolate. In most cases it is just more expensive and in some cases even hides what we drink. What all of you really wanted was hot chocolate, not the cup; but you went for the best cups... and then you began eyeing each other's cups.
Here is the lesson: Life is the hot chocolate; your job, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain life. The cup you have does not define, nor change the quality of life you have.
See, I want to have a nicer cup - one with four big wheels, and a Toyota or Lexus insignia on the back, but the reality is that I don't have the ability to buy anything nicer than a plastic cup from IKEA, or a paper cup from Walmart. The important thing to remember is that any cup (as long as it is clean) is ok for me to use to savor my hot choco. Let's see if I can take this further... um, ya, I can savor my hot cho-co-lah-tay in a paper cup on the beach if I want to, right? I can take my cup anywhere! I mean, imagine the small paper cup with the hot stuff in it (wax melting on the outside) cruising on a Disney cruise ship out in the Caribbean. Ya ya, that's it!
Wait... I think I have gone overboard (no pun intended). I guess the whole idea of this story is that we are supposed to look INSIDE of the cup, right? We all have the same good stuff on the inside, we just "get" to enjoy it from different holders. Ok, so I need to enjoy it no matter what the cup looks like. But, I can still want to take the cup somewhere fun, right?
Is sarcasm always negative? Is negative always bad? Isn't it funny sometimes?
Eeek, now the "cup half full" scenario comes to mind, which means that the hot chocolate story can be taken even further. BUT... I am going to stop. I have to continue to figure out how to use a database (see previous post).
Good News!!
Ok, I have good news - at least for myself. I just learned how to print off an envelope with an address on it! I know, this is probably old hat for so many people, but I just barely figured it out! Plus, today I am learning how to use a spreadsheet and a database - thanks to the "help" section of Microsoft Works. (I got it at DI the other day for .50 cents) Leah also helped me... even though I got her out of bed too early this morning with my "HELP ME" phone call. Poor thing. Since she worked in the software sector (albeit 11+ years ago), I figure she still knows everything about software, so she is my go-to gal for that stuff!
So, I am happily printing off envelopes for everything I have to send - which is not much. I do have to send a check for $7 to a gal so I can take M&M on a fieldtrip to Thanksgiving Point Farm this next month. I also had to print out an envelope to send away for some free "don't park in handicapped spaces" stickers. I had to print out a SASE for that too, so that was extra fun! (SASE = Self Addressed Stamped Envelope ...remember, from Zoom!) So, I have printed off THREE and I feel so organized.
So, I am happily printing off envelopes for everything I have to send - which is not much. I do have to send a check for $7 to a gal so I can take M&M on a fieldtrip to Thanksgiving Point Farm this next month. I also had to print out an envelope to send away for some free "don't park in handicapped spaces" stickers. I had to print out a SASE for that too, so that was extra fun! (SASE = Self Addressed Stamped Envelope ...remember, from Zoom!) So, I have printed off THREE and I feel so organized.
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Unmet expectations...
Ya, ya, we all know... I am a single mom with 4 kids. Three live at home, and one is a relative transient right now. He delivers pizza during the day, and plays with his friends all night long, and sleeps who knows where on a nightly basis. My ex-husband lives in a small 2 bedroom apartment about 5 miles away, and takes the kids to be with him whenever he can. I'm getting money each month, but it barely pays all the bills after the $1900 mortgage payment (thanks to a few 2nd mortgages that have been combined in to one hefty payment). While it is true that I haven't had to change much in the physical realm since the separation (house, staying home, etc), and I don't have to work right now, I can certainly tell you that THIS is not what I had planned 20 years ago when I said "I Do".
I guess I have finally realized that not one of us is exempt from problems. More than that, I think I now see that we are really not in control of our lives no matter how much we think we are in control of them. For instance, I live on a street with 20 homes filled with people who have had some pretty intense experiences as of late. Here is a list of a few:
One of my neighbors is in the middle of a divorce from a guy who has had three affairs - that she knows of. He drinks, he lies, and he cheats in more ways than one. He plays one-up with her all of the time, trying to "win" the kid's love. She has had to go back to workteaching full-time after being a stay at home mom for over 16 years. She is 42.
Another neighbor is recently widowed. She and her husband were terribly in love. They were one of those couples everyone wants to be like. Fun loving, out going, hard working, energetic, and kind. He died suddenly at work one morning. She is 42.
A great friend down the road is dealing with her husband's diagnosis of Parkinson's Disease. He is an incredible musician and plays the guitar and bass perfectly! He is slowly losing his ability to play anything since his fingers shake, and his depression is worsening. He and she are both 43.
My good friend across the street is adjusting to life after her husband had a stroke in the middle of Lake Powell. It has been four years now, but he still is not able to drive at all, or see out of his eyes more than 25% . She drives him and their four children everywhere. It seems like she lives in their van. She is 38.
My neighbor and her three children are getting used to her new marriage of 6 months, after a very ugly affair-caused-divorce 5 years ago. The "blended" family situation she is in now has been worse than she could have imagined. She is 41.
Another gal at the other end of my street is currently a single mom of three kids under 10 due to her husband's suicide while he was away on a business trip. It has been two years, but her little children talk and ask about dad, and her oldest lets her know how angry he is at his dad for doing what he did. She has no education, and worries about what will happen when the social security runs out. She is 29.
One friend with 5 kids under 10 has just learned that her husband suffers from severe bi-polar disorder. It explains his inability to get and keep a job for the last few years, but it doesn't help pay the bills. They are currently trudging through the beginnings of the path of getting help/meds for this mental disorder. She is 38.
All of the experiences listed above are things that have caused so many expectations to go completely unmet! Most of us couldn't have even written/fathomed the life script we are currently involved with if our lives depended on it.
WHAT is going on? Everyone of the people I mentioned have prayed and fasted and thought and hoped and wished and tried everything they could to remedy the issues in their lives, but the reality is that we can't change other people, and for the most part, we can't control what path our life takes! Yes, we are able to make choices and predict somewhat what the consequences will be from those choices, but we really can't expect our lives to go as we have planned them to go.
I think the reason we set goals is so that we have hope! So that we have something to shoot for... but we can't really expect that we will get there, can we? Unmet goals seem different than unmet expectations. Maybe it is becauseI see a goal as something we think about and aim for, whereas an expectation is something that should just BE! I mean, I expected my husband to get and keep a job with insurance. I expect my kids to graduate from high school. I expected that getting pregnant would be easy. I expect that buying milk will not cause financial anxiety. I expect that I will have something to rely on for retirement when I am 65. I expected that my marriage would be fun and lasting. It feels like those things should just happen. They shouldn't need to be talked about or argued over or decided upon. They seem like things that just... ARE! It is those things not happening that cause anxiety and frustration and saddness for me.
I suppose it is just as unfair to expect anything of others as it is for me to be feeling let down. Life is NOT fair, is it?
I'm not sure this is all connected or making much sense. I am just slowly realizing that in some ways, living one day at a time is the only way to live. Making plans for the future for anything other than our inside self is futile, isn't it? The only expectation I feel like I can have for myself anymore is just the expectation to be happy, content, and at peace. It is a choice, and it is something that I CAN control! I wish I would have known "then" what I know now. Would I have made different choices? I'm not sure I would have, but I think I would have been able to look at my life and my future and my thoughts, and realize that what is on the inside of me is the only thing I can honestly expect to be the way I want it to be. I would have focused more on that aspect of my life and not put so many dreams and hopes in the hands of others and the unknown.
As of now, unmet expectations will be something of the past. I "expect" that I will be able to make that my happy reality! :o)
I guess I have finally realized that not one of us is exempt from problems. More than that, I think I now see that we are really not in control of our lives no matter how much we think we are in control of them. For instance, I live on a street with 20 homes filled with people who have had some pretty intense experiences as of late. Here is a list of a few:
One of my neighbors is in the middle of a divorce from a guy who has had three affairs - that she knows of. He drinks, he lies, and he cheats in more ways than one. He plays one-up with her all of the time, trying to "win" the kid's love. She has had to go back to workteaching full-time after being a stay at home mom for over 16 years. She is 42.
Another neighbor is recently widowed. She and her husband were terribly in love. They were one of those couples everyone wants to be like. Fun loving, out going, hard working, energetic, and kind. He died suddenly at work one morning. She is 42.
A great friend down the road is dealing with her husband's diagnosis of Parkinson's Disease. He is an incredible musician and plays the guitar and bass perfectly! He is slowly losing his ability to play anything since his fingers shake, and his depression is worsening. He and she are both 43.
My good friend across the street is adjusting to life after her husband had a stroke in the middle of Lake Powell. It has been four years now, but he still is not able to drive at all, or see out of his eyes more than 25% . She drives him and their four children everywhere. It seems like she lives in their van. She is 38.
My neighbor and her three children are getting used to her new marriage of 6 months, after a very ugly affair-caused-divorce 5 years ago. The "blended" family situation she is in now has been worse than she could have imagined. She is 41.
Another gal at the other end of my street is currently a single mom of three kids under 10 due to her husband's suicide while he was away on a business trip. It has been two years, but her little children talk and ask about dad, and her oldest lets her know how angry he is at his dad for doing what he did. She has no education, and worries about what will happen when the social security runs out. She is 29.
One friend with 5 kids under 10 has just learned that her husband suffers from severe bi-polar disorder. It explains his inability to get and keep a job for the last few years, but it doesn't help pay the bills. They are currently trudging through the beginnings of the path of getting help/meds for this mental disorder. She is 38.
All of the experiences listed above are things that have caused so many expectations to go completely unmet! Most of us couldn't have even written/fathomed the life script we are currently involved with if our lives depended on it.
WHAT is going on? Everyone of the people I mentioned have prayed and fasted and thought and hoped and wished and tried everything they could to remedy the issues in their lives, but the reality is that we can't change other people, and for the most part, we can't control what path our life takes! Yes, we are able to make choices and predict somewhat what the consequences will be from those choices, but we really can't expect our lives to go as we have planned them to go.
I think the reason we set goals is so that we have hope! So that we have something to shoot for... but we can't really expect that we will get there, can we? Unmet goals seem different than unmet expectations. Maybe it is becauseI see a goal as something we think about and aim for, whereas an expectation is something that should just BE! I mean, I expected my husband to get and keep a job with insurance. I expect my kids to graduate from high school. I expected that getting pregnant would be easy. I expect that buying milk will not cause financial anxiety. I expect that I will have something to rely on for retirement when I am 65. I expected that my marriage would be fun and lasting. It feels like those things should just happen. They shouldn't need to be talked about or argued over or decided upon. They seem like things that just... ARE! It is those things not happening that cause anxiety and frustration and saddness for me.
I suppose it is just as unfair to expect anything of others as it is for me to be feeling let down. Life is NOT fair, is it?
I'm not sure this is all connected or making much sense. I am just slowly realizing that in some ways, living one day at a time is the only way to live. Making plans for the future for anything other than our inside self is futile, isn't it? The only expectation I feel like I can have for myself anymore is just the expectation to be happy, content, and at peace. It is a choice, and it is something that I CAN control! I wish I would have known "then" what I know now. Would I have made different choices? I'm not sure I would have, but I think I would have been able to look at my life and my future and my thoughts, and realize that what is on the inside of me is the only thing I can honestly expect to be the way I want it to be. I would have focused more on that aspect of my life and not put so many dreams and hopes in the hands of others and the unknown.
As of now, unmet expectations will be something of the past. I "expect" that I will be able to make that my happy reality! :o)
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