The Cheat

I love Homestarruner.com. StrongBad is the best. His e-mails crack me up. His little friend "The Cheat" came to mind today. Why? Because The Cheat is nice and funny, but cheating is not... and I was trying to think of something nice to write about!

I am going to write about cheating anyway.

There are a couple of different types of cheating. For instance, cheating while playing games - like stealing cards, moving forward one more space than the number that was rolled on the die, counting your money at the end and adding a few extra dollars to the grand total, etc. That kind of cheating, while dishonest, is rather harmless. In fact, some people actually consider that type of cheating part of the game! (I don't play with those people often if I can help it!)

Or how about cheating when shopping? It is possible to figure out how to cheat when buying stuff. I could buy stuff when it is not on sale (just to make sure I can get it), then return it when it is on sale (when there are no more left) so I can get the discount. Or do the same thing in the opposite direction. Buy stuff when it is on sale, then return it when it is not on sale and get more back than I paid for it in the first place. Is that cheating, or is that being smart? Is "beating the system" a form of cheating? Do I care about that right now? No.

The type of cheating I really want to blog about is emotional cheating. Not like "having an affair" cheating; just not being honest emotionally. I guess it is often called lying, but in so many cases the person doing the cheating doesn't even understand that the cheating is happening - at least not on the conscious level. It must be subconscious, and I must live in a subconscious world, because I can almost always tell when the emotional cheating is happening. It is frustrating for me, to say the least. I feel cheated when people are not totally honest with me.

WHY do people feel the need to cheat emotionally? Why is it so hard for people to just be who they are, say what they think, and act the way they believe? Why are so many people amazed that I say what I think? What the heck are we supposed to do with our thoughts??? Keep them inside and to ourselves? If we aren't supposed to share them, then why do we have them? Does the need to cheat emotionally come from feeling rejected by other people? Does it come from a strong desire to be accepted by others? Does it come from thinking that we are wrong for feeling the way we feel?

I wonder... do some parents discipline their children when they tell the truth (about something they did that was wrong), thus teaching the children, albeit subconsciously, that telling the truth produces negative results? Do I do that? I have a sneaking suspicion that some people I am very close with had that happen to them. It has produced disasterous results. Although these people are no longer children, the negative results of telling the truth about less than stellar events in their lives has carried over to their ability to tell the truth in their relationships now. It is sad to see/hear. It is very sad to be a part of their lives and watch them "cheat" without even knowing it.

It would be awful to have the "pregnant pause" always a part of my conversations. I am referring to the longer-than-normal pause that happens before they answer a question dealing with something that may cause them angst. It is that little space of time wherein they use their God given agency to decide whether or not to lie. It is probably as painful as labor... and is thus called a pregnant pause.

I think I am pretty honest about my life. I think I am open about my emotions. I REALLY hope that other people see me that way. I also really hope that people want to be emotionally honest with me. What would be the point of NOT being honest emotionally? I think we are supposed to believe that truth shall make us free!

Go ahead. You've read this, so now... be honest with me. Say what you think! It is almost the 4th of July - a day of celebration about freedom. C'mon... let's be FREE!!! :)