The "don't"s of being me.

I was raised Mormon, in the heart of the Mormon capitol of the world... UTAH!

Just some basic info: we don't have horns, or more than one wife (and certainly not more than one husband!!! lol), and we all don't have 10 kids and one on the way!! We do get married in the temple, but there is nothing WEIRD that goes on in there... and don't ask me what DOES go on in there, cuz i can't tell you or I'd have to kill you... or baptize you. We don't think there are only a certain number of people who get in to heaven, and we don't think Joseph Smith is Jesus Christ! We don't have a bible that is any different from the King James version (which is the one we use), and we don't drink and don't smoke, but we do eventually have... well, you know... the "S" word but only after we are married. LOLOLOL

We do try to live by the Golden Rule, but it usually doesn't seem to work very well.
We do not drink coffee, but we do try to buy all the Diet Coke that we can possibly fit in our minivans using FACEBOOK coupons. (Well, ok, that part is just about me...)
We do send our 19yr old sons away for 2 years to be missionaries somewhere in the world... but I haven't.
We don't get divorced... but I did.
We don't want moms to work outside of the home... but I do.
We don't swear... but I do that too.
We don't gamble... but I only do that if I go through Vegas.

Gee... I'm not a very good Mormon, am I?

Tide watch and the Couponami of 2008

I have found that my mom and I have something in common. We like to watch Tide. There is a big difference though - I like to watch the price of the Tide that washes clothes and leaves them with a nice clean scent. She however, likes the kind that washes up and back on the beach each day, and tends to leave little particles of dead fish or sea life that stink when the sun comes out and evaporates the water.

My mom is (and I have only discovered this in the last 4 days) a beach FREAK!! She is obsessed with watching and getting info on tides - high tides, low tides, slack tides, etc. She knows way too much about "seaglass", and has all sorts of off-the-cuff information about driftwood and agates. The knowledge comes out in spurts at odd times - like when we are walking along the beach looking for shells, and she just happens to mention that the sun sets 30 seconds later everyday, while the moon's difference each day is 24 minutes - and that is what effects tides. OK then... ""Do you know the price of Hillshire Farms lunch meat when using a Facebook Coupon?" I ask. Or in keeping with the topic, "can you tell me perhaps where Tide WITH bleach is on sale this week, and where I can go to get my $.75 coupon doubled?"

Here is a favorite of mine: We are sitting quietly in the front room of the beach house early in the morning, peacefully looking out the picture windows, when she pipes up with "This area is an earthquake zone, which makes it ripe for a Tsunami." I chuckle as I realize I just experienced the likes of a Tsunami in my own little world of Freebieland. I'll aways remember the great Couponami of 2008 - aka Facebook Fiasco.

Making connections, or NOT!

Ok, I'm one of those people who used to listen to songs when I was younger and could sing along with all the words, but had no idea what the song was about. Know what I mean? The last few times I have heard some of those songs from my teenage years, I have finally realized what naughty lyrics were in there! Some of the songs from "Grease" for instance.

Anyway, I got a good deal on milk and the new Honey Bunches of Oats cereal the other day. So today I was sitting here eating my "good deal" for breakfast and thinking how nice it was to not have any flakes of cereal in my bowl, when it occurred to me that it is called "JUST BUNCHES" for a reason!

La La La... or is it Duh Duh Duh?!

The Coupon Addiction

I wanted to SHOOT myself last night. I had planned for about 5 hours yesterday (ya, it takes me that long cuz I am coupon-disabled) exactly what, where, and how to get some great deals at Rite Aid. I had those P&G coupons that expired on the 31st of July, so I wanted to use them.

After a late dinner at my parents' home, I hung around the kitchen and chatted with my mom for a little while, then at 8:50pm after the kids were settled, I left for my BIG trip. I peacefully (read: no kids in van) drove the 8 min it takes to get to "the corners" where Rite Aid is on one corner, and Walgreen's is the other. Convenient, to be sure! I pulled in to the Rite Aid parking lot with butterflies in my stomach at the thought of all the deals I was going to get, and was happily surprised to see that there were only two cars in the lot - "lucky me" I thought, "I'll have the whole place to myself!" It was then that I noticed the store lights were rather dim. A closer look at the big red sign on the door allowed me to see the hours of operation which included a closing time of 9:00pm. I looked at my digital clock - 9:00pm ARGH!!!

I gotta admit that the amount of time wasted getting everything together earlier in the day, and the amount of money wasted by being late (which made the now-expired coupons worthless), held no candle to the amount of self I wanted to get wasted for being so DUMB!

'Course since I'm a good non-drinkin', non-smokin', church goin' gal, my only vice in the "wasting" catagory was to head home and take an Ambien from my stash of pills - the one thing I can seem to keep in stock! (That would be a big to my parents who spent time enough in India to get a year's supply for me for $40. Now THAT is a deal!! Didn't even have to use a coupon! )

While I may be shopping-challenged and seem to have a difficult time when it comes to figuring out what is a good deal and what is a great deal, by golly I DO know what time Rite Aid closes, and I'll never forget it!

...I'm off to take another Ambien... just for good measure!